


The Breaking Point

by Phoenixs_Dragons



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Coming Out, JuLance, JuLance Challenge 2018, M/M, Shiro’s Gay!, Talking, breaking point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 00:44:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15449565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenixs_Dragons/pseuds/Phoenixs_Dragons
Summary: Lance has a talk with Shiro about everything that’s bothering him and ends up talking about Keith.





	The Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

> It wouldn’t fit on my twitter.
> 
> This was quick and i didn’t really go back and edit, so I’m sorry it’s crap. I think it’s kinda a hotmess.
> 
> But yah, here’s this.

At some point during their time in space, Lance started to feel . . . Blah. Like he lost touch with who he is, how he saw himself. That Lance wasn't good enough, that he probably never was. He started to see and notice new things about himself. And he just started feeling like over all crap. Lance hates it. He hates how he feels, but he doesn't know how to convey it. He doesn't know how to not be a bother to the team. 

Ever since he started seeing it, noticing the looks and the comments, he's come to realize that he's probably a bother to everyone. It's probably because of this that Lance can't express how he's feeling, what he's confused about, what he's thinking to the team. Lance wonders if the team will even care. After all, Lance is just a goofball and goofballs are there to always be funny.

Lance lays in a field of flowers, far away from everyone else. This is the usual since Kuron showed up and Keith left. Even though Keith is back, and Kuron is gone, things still aren't the usual, or the old usual. Keith and Lance have become good friends and then Keith leaves only to show back up and make Lance questions how he really sees the boy, how he feels towards him, which messes with how he interacts with him. They're both different. They've both gone through stuff in their time away.

The blue paladin rubs his face in frustration, something he doesn't do often since it's not good for the skin. What is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to handle this? He thought the situation before was bad, but now they've lost the Castle of Lions and they're still trying to figure out the whole Shiro in a Clones body situation.

There's just so much swarming in his head, Lance doesn't know what problem to dwell on first. His mind always jumping from one train of thought to a completely unrelated one.

Lance has officially become a mess.

There's crunching in the meadow and Lance doesn't move a muscle as a person stops above him. They hover next to him, probably contemplating if they're intruding or not.

"Mind if I join you?" Lance recognizes that voice as Shiro.

Not trusting his voice, Lance just shakes his head. The former black paladin takes a seat next to the younger paladin. Shiro sits there in silence as Lance lays there with his eyes closed. Neither move to say anything, both just enjoying the company.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you in the astral plane," Lance chokes out, the silence finally getting to him.

There's a pause before Shiro answers. "What?" He seems taken by surprise. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Lance. If it weren't for you I would have given up trying to contact any of you."

Lance sits up and lets out a choked sob. Every emotion he's felt over the past several months finally catching up to him. All his emotions hit him full force all at once and all his body can do to try and ease the pain is cry.

Shiro sits there in surprise before he moves into action. He pats the boys shoulder and gives him a reassuring squeeze. "Lance," He nudges gently, "what else is bothering you?"

The blue paladin sits there, drowning in thoughts he can't convey. His mouth opens and closes and the more he sits there, the more worked up he gets. 

"I don't-" he hiccups, "I don't know- I don't know where-where to start."

Shiro pats his back, desperately trying to get Lance to calm down. And in some way, the comfort of knowing that someone is there, that they want to know how he's doing, that they're relationship isn't so confusing, is comforting to Lance. It calms him down enough that he can speak, although hands still trembling and tears still escaping down his cheeks.

"Let's start with Kuron," Shiro suggests.

Lance nods quickly. It takes him a couple minutes before he's regained his composure and can speak in coherent words. 

"I feel like it's my fault. I should have known," Lance breaths out. "There were so many signs. And you tried to get my attention and even Kuron tried to tell me something was wrong."

Shiro tries to butt in, but Lance is on a roll.

"Maybe if I was actually useful to the team I could have done something. Or maybe if I was as smart as Pidge, or Hunk, I would have noticed," The boy rambles on.

"Woah," Shiro cuts him off. "Don't blame yourself or think you have to be as smart as Hunk and Pidge. They didn't catch on to the situation either. And there are different types of smart. Your smart too Lance, you excel in other areas then those two."

A small smile graces Lance's face. 

"I want to see my family again," Lance manages to blurt out. "I want my mom and my sister Veronica and my brothers."

Shiro smiles sadly. "Yah, I miss my -" he stops and frowns, looking up at the endless space above them, "I guess ex-fiancé, now. He's amazing. I miss his home cooked meals. And he gave amazing advice that I never seemed to listen to."

"My sister Veronica always gave the best advice," Lance says wistfully. "She always managed to know what I was thinking and feeling before even I did. I wish she was here right now, she'd know what to say."

Lance freezes. 

Shiro quirks an eyebrow. "What'd you mean?" He playfully slaps Lance's shoulder. "Is my listening and words not good enough for you?"

The blue paladin quickly waves his hands. "No, no." He rushes out. "It's not that. You're doing great, really helpful. It's just. . . Other stuff? I guess other stuff. It's confusing."

He tilts his head to the side, a seeming sly grin on his face that doesn't quite go with his kind, inviting eyes. "You can talk to me about anything, Lance."

He glances at Shiro. Really contemplating if he can trust him, after all the boy he calls his younger brother is part of the problem. And he's his hero, he looked up to this guy. How embarrassing would it be talking to him about this?

"I guess it's just. . . Allura?" Lance questions. Shiro stays quiet and lets Lance talk himself through his confusion, and Lance appreciates that. "I mean, I always knew I didn't have a shot and at first it didn't really bother me."

He sucks in a breath, "But then I was kinda left alone, i guess. I don't know how, i mean everyone has been there, well not everyone all the time, but you get what I mean. So, I don't know why I started to feel alone and then Lotor shows up and starts sweeping Allura off her feet and Kuron starts looking to him for everything and I guess I felt pushed to the side? And forgotten?"

At this point Lance is rambling, but he doesn't notice, he just wants to get it all out before Shiro says, "nope too confusing, I'm not dealing with this." And takes off.

"Pidge and Hunk are valuable. Pidge is the brains and Hunk helps with that. Allura is the leader, Coran is the mechanic and walking history book. You're the head of Voltron, the calm and collected guy everyone looks to for advice. And Lotor was the insider information. Plus Keith was gone and doing his thing with the Marmorites, which left me there, being unuseful and alone." 

"So, I guess i just fixated on Allura. Especially when Lotor was trying to make moves, because this is Lotor, we can't trust Lotor. But no one listens to the goofball." Lance clenches his fists, "They just joke about him and poke at his one sided crush. And I'm just worried about her and Lotor. I was afraid Lotor would hurt her!"

Lance is so caught up in his feelings and his ranting that he doesn't remember to filter a thing he says, "And Keith leaving messed everything up!" He groans. He catches the slight smirk and quirk of Shiro's eyebrow but he's so busy he seems to not comprehend it.

"We were just starting to get along and, although I hate to admit it, I actually started to enjoy his company," Lance grits out. "And then he has to go and leave and leave me alone to the taunting of Pidge and Hunk. And I don't know! I find myself thinking about what he's up to, to distract myself from Allura and I get teased for thinking about Allura. Then I accidentally admit to it, but they don't catch on, which I'm glad about but also sad, because I'm so confused!" Lance yells.

Shiro chuckles and Lance snaps to face him. The man clears his throat, "Continue."

"And he comes back, but he's changed, and it's not that I mind. Trust me, I don't mind, but argh. Now it just feels different." Lance groans. "We start getting along and now i feel like I'm walking on eggshells because i don't know what's different. But something is different and I'm afraid to test the waters and see what it is."

Lance pants from his lack of oxygen. His body relaxes from letting out all of his frustration, worries and confusion. He never really realized how much he kept to himself all this time.

There's silence as the former black paladin lets the younger boy process. Everything Lance said runs through his mind.

His face flushes red as he realizes the last bit he had yelled about. Lance really just yelled about Keith and admitted he thought about him to his older brother, also Lance's hero. It doesn't get worse then that.

"So you're upset about Pidge and Hunks teasing? And you felt alone so you were extra worried about Allura getting hurt by Lotor, who you tried to warn everyone about?" Shiro guess a summery of some of Lance's ranting.

Lance nods in confirmation. 

"Maybe you should try to express to Pidge and Hunk how that makes you feel? That you don't like it? Maybe ask them to stop?" Lance sits there and nods. Maybe he would. They probably didn't know what it did to him. "And it sounds like you were being a caring friend to Allura and that everyone should have considered your concerns a little more."

"Lance," he adds. "You're a valuable member of the team. You're our sharpshooter. You can keep up with  Hunk and Pidge and you've actually become friends with Keith. After I died, you really stepped up and you continued to improve. I think you've grown the most out of everyone. We wouldn't have gotten this far without you."

There's a pause, Lance wonders if Shiro is trying to figure out if he is allowed to speak about the Keith topic. Lance wants him to, he wants to stop feeling confused, but the idea of what the answer will be is daunting to him.

"As for testing the waters to see what it is, why are you afraid?" Shiro gently presses. He leans back on his hands as he patiently waits for Lance to come to the conclusion on his own.

"Because I guess it's a new feeling and I- I guess I'm afraid how everyone else will react." Lance stumbles over his words. "I just- I've never actually liked a guy as more then a friend and I think I'm afraid that's what's going on."

He continues talking, "I just feel like I don't know myself anymore."

"Lance, it's ok to like guys too if you want," Shiro reassures him, "you're changing. You're growing into yourself. You should he proud of who you are, not afraid or ashamed. Whether that's being a goofball, a leader, a concerned friend, or a guy who's figuring out who he's into."

Lance's shoulders slump from the weight that had been lifted off of them. He didn't realize how much he need to talk, to be reassured that what he's feeling is normal and that everything would be ok. A few stray tears manage to escape and Lance quickly dabs at them with the back of his wrist.

"Thank you," Lance says, "I didn't know I needed that."

Shiro squeezes his shoulder. "Everyone has a breaking point, you finally reached yours. Just don't be afraid to bother any of us with stuff like this, it's unhealthy to bottle it all up."

And then they sit there sharing stories of home.


End file.
